rain-shadow desert,

What works: You have a clear overview that separates the windward and leeward sides and says the inland area ends up dry. You cover all seven stages in order, and your paragraphs follow the diagram.

Problems:

1. You misread the "thousands of kilometres" arrow. It spans the whole distance from the coast to the desert. It does not describe the dry air after it has descended.
   • ❌ "the dry air descending from the summit has travelled thousands of kilometres now."
   • ✅ "The distance between the coast and the desert is thousands of kilometres."

1. You add details that are not in the diagram. The diagram does not show clouds being pushed higher, and it does not mention "freezing temperatures". Examiners treat invented detail as inaccurate content.
   • ❌ "At this point, the wind pushes the clouds even higher. In the freezing temperatures of the summit, the rain finally falls."
   • ✅ "Clouds form, and rain then falls near the summit."

1. Stage 6 is distorted. The diagram says dry air continues over the mountain. It does not say the air moves "towards the slope" after descending.
   • ❌ "The wind which has lost its humidity, continues forward towards the slope."
   • ✅ "The dry air continues over the mountain and descends the leeward side."

1. The cause of the desert is unclear. The wind does not "leave behind" a desert. The desert forms because the dry air brings no rain.
   • ❌ "the wind leaves behind what is called, rain-shadow desert"
   • ✅ "As this air carries almost no moisture, little rain falls and a rain-shadow desert develops."

1. The overview is present but imprecise. It reads awkwardly and does not show the structure of the process.
   • ❌ "the development of this phenomenon takes place in two sides of mountains."
   • ✅ "the process has seven stages and takes place on two sides of the mountain."

What works: Your four-paragraph structure (introduction, overview, two bodies) is clear. The windward and leeward split gives each body paragraph a clear focus. You use some sequencing language: At the beginning, then, At this point, After.

Problems:

1. A faulty linking phrase blocks the cause-and-effect.
   • ❌ "cools as the temperature is low at high altitudes and by which, clouds are formed."
   • ✅ "cools at high altitude, causing clouds to form."

1. "Windward side" and "leeward side" are used without being explained or tied to the sea and the inland area. In the overview you use them as if the reader already knows them. Link each one to its location and its role.
   • ❌ "over the summit from windward side to leeward side where it has lost its humidity"
   • ✅ "On the windward side, moist air from the sea rises and loses its moisture as rain, whereas on the leeward side the air is dry."

1. The leeward paragraph opens in the middle of the process. The sentence "has travelled thousands of kilometres now" does not connect to the previous paragraph, and "now" has no reference point.
   • ❌ "At the leeward side, the dry air descending from the summit has travelled thousands of kilometres now."
   • ✅ "The dry air then continues over the mountain and descends the leeward side."

1. You repeat "the wind" (×5) and use only a few sequencing words. The repetition makes the writing mechanical. Vary the subject (the air, the moist air, the dry air) and use more connectors (subsequently, as a result).

1. The ending is unfinished. The last sentence has no full stop and does not close the process.

What works: You use topic-specific words such as windward, leeward, summit, altitudes, descending and inland areas. These suit the task. The vocabulary is adequate and your meaning is mostly clear.

Problems:

1. Wrong or unnatural word choices.
   • ❌ "a specific type of desert that goes by rain-shadow desert"
   • ✅ "a type of desert known as a rain-shadow desert"
   • ❌ "The wind travels of the sea"
   • ✅ "The wind travels from the sea"
   • ❌ "takes place in two sides of mountains"
   • ✅ "takes place on two sides of the mountain"

1. "Wind" is repeated five times. The diagram gives you air and winds. Use air, airflow and the moist air so the text does not feel repetitive.

1. "Humidity" is used imprecisely. Humidity is the amount of water vapour in the air. For what the air carries and loses, moisture is more natural.
   • ❌ "where it has lost its humidity"
   • ✅ "where it has lost its moisture"

1. "What is called" is vague.
   • ❌ "the wind leaves behind what is called, rain-shadow desert"
   • ✅ "a rain-shadow desert develops"

I found no spelling mistakes in your answer.

What works: You attempt relative clauses (where it gets pushed up, The wind which has lost…), a participle phrase (leaving inland areas dry) and as-clauses. This shows a mix of simple and complex forms, and most sentences are understandable.

Problems:

1. Missing articles (repeated).
   • ❌ "the wind approaches coast" → ✅ "the wind approaches the coast"
   • ❌ "from windward side to leeward side" → ✅ "from the windward side to the leeward side"
   • ❌ "leaving inland areas dry" → ✅ "leaving the inland area dry"

1. Wrong prepositions (repeated).
   • ❌ "in two sides" → ✅ "on two sides"
   • ❌ "travels of the sea" → ✅ "travels from the sea"
   • ❌ "At the leeward side" → ✅ "On the leeward side"

1. Faulty relative clause.
   • ❌ "and by which, clouds are formed"
   • ✅ "as a result of which clouds form" or "causing clouds to form"

1. Comma errors (repeated). You put commas where they do not belong, and you leave out the ones that are needed.
   • ❌ "a specific type of desert that goes by rain-shadow desert, is formed" → ✅ "a type of desert known as a rain-shadow desert is formed"
   • ❌ "The wind which has lost its humidity, continues forward" → ✅ "The wind, which has lost its moisture, continues…" or "Having lost its moisture, the wind continues…"
   • ❌ "what is called, rain-shadow desert" → remove the comma.
   • The last sentence has no full stop.

1. Tense and form. "has travelled … now" is a present perfect with no clear time frame. For a process, use the present simple.

1. Keep to what the diagram shows. Check each fact against a numbered stage. Place the "thousands of kilometres" arrow correctly (coast to desert), and delete anything extra such as "pushes the clouds even higher" and "freezing temperatures".
2. Make the cause-and-effect clear with accurate linking. Replace "by which, clouds are formed" with causing clouds to form, and show that the desert exists because the dry air brings no rain.
3. Fix the repeated small errors. Check articles (the coast, the leeward side), prepositions (on two sides, from the sea) and commas. Vary the repeated word "wind", and always finish with a full stop.

1. *Relative clause with a preposition (after which, where)*
   • Template: "[Main clause], after which [next stage]." / "[Place], where [event]."
   • Example: The air descends the leeward side, after which it reaches the inland areas.
   • ❌ "After reaching the inland areas, the wind leaves behind what is called, rain-shadow desert"
   • ✅ "The dry air reaches the inland areas, where a rain-shadow desert develops."

1. *Participle clause showing result (causing…, resulting in…)*
   • Template: "[Main clause], causing [noun] to [verb]."
   • Example: The moist air cools at high altitude, causing clouds to form.
   • ❌ "The moist air then cools as the temperature is low at high altitudes and by which, clouds are formed."
   • ✅ "The moist air cools as it climbs, causing clouds to form."

1. *Perfect participle clause (Having…)*
   • Template: "Having [past participle] [noun], the [noun] [verb]."
   • Example: Having lost its moisture, the air continues over the mountain.
   • ❌ "The wind which has lost its humidity, continues forward towards the slope."
   • ✅ "Having lost its moisture, the air continues over the mountain and descends the leeward side."

1. Passive voice for process stages
   • Template: "[Noun] is/are [past participle] [direction] by [agent]."
   • Example: The winds are pushed upwards by the rising land.
   • ❌ "the wind approaches coast where it gets pushed up"
   • ✅ "Winds approach the coast, where they are forced upwards by the rising land."

1. *Contrast with whereas / while***
   • Template: "On the [side], [event], whereas on the [other side], [contrasting event]."
   • Example: On the windward side, rain falls, whereas on the leeward side, the air stays dry.
   • ❌ "The wind travels of the sea, over the summit from windward side to leeward side where it has lost its humidity, leaving inland areas dry."
   • ✅ "On the windward side, the moist air loses its moisture as rain, whereas on the leeward side, the air is dry, leaving the inland area without rainfall."

1. *Time clause with by the time / as***
   • Template: "By the time [clause], [subject] has [past participle]." / "As [clause], [result]."
   • Example: By the time the air crosses the peak, it has lost most of its moisture.